jeremy allen

there and back again… a big apple tale.
July 25, 2007, 10:53 am
Filed under: .life, .love

i’ve been holding off writing this for several reasons. one.. time but more so really just because i needed to let the dust settle on the fragments of the last week. where to even start…

life is a odd thing. believe it or not i have just as of last week taken up reading as a past time. growing up i sorta looked down on reading and it was always set on the shelf as something i would do later. why you may ask? well there are multiple reasons and most of them run too deep to talk about in a blog entry. lets just leave it as there were a few events in my life that really discouraged me from the idea of reading and its taken me about 10 years to get past those events. so here i am. library card & in hand, ready and willing to give it a second chance.

some would say… i’ve missed out on a lot of prime reading time. i would tend to agree but hopefully that will give me a fresh new perspective on the world of books.

my caution wasn’t in buying books…. oh no i’ve been buying for years and have a decent stock pile of literature that has been untouched over the last 10 years so at least i can wait a while before i start spending more money on books.

i guess something just clicked the other day as i was walking around the village. i suddenly was stuck with the desire to buy a book and read it. READ IT…. NOOO i said to myself JUST BUY…. no no… I said back READ IT… like take it places and actually sit and open it… and comprehend it.

so i gave in… and purchased a $6 copy of “iPod Therefore I Am” which is an interesting musical journey through one guys love obsession with music and technology.

i’ll talk about it when I’m done … which may be a while…cause since i haven’t really read in 10 years.. i’m a tad on the slow side.

so with that chapter of my trip etched out we now move to the heart of this graphic novel.

one problem i have always had with books and movies is that they end. i’m very emotional about it too… what happens next… what happens the next day? …. how do they grow up… i want to see that part…

i get very invested in plots, stories, and characters and i want to live life with them. i want to see them grow old…but unfortunately there is nothing after after page 374 except a cardboard cover that just gives me a summary… sequels help a little bit…but then… what happens after the sequel…

i’ve been faced with this concept in a more tangible way a lot recently…in the last 2 month i would say at least 5-10 people that i have either known or been connected to have died. not that any of these people have been immediate family but it still has its effect on me. i feel almost numb to the idea of death right now… i know that will pass very soon thou and i will be left with this weary feeling. my trip to the big apple was bookended with and plot driven by death and i still can’t fully comprehend everything that happened. most of my trip was spent at a funeral home where i sat and talked to people that i hardly knew trying to comfort them and hopefully take there mind off the present suffering if just for a second. this in of it self made the some 18 hours of driving worth it to me, and not even really for a second did i think about the life and the city that was just over the bridge that i was missing out on. but really the life was happening right in front of me. that was where i wanted to be and it didn’t matter that the city was right there. it mattered that i was people that were in need and those people i was falling in love with, with each sentence.

there is a lot more layers to this story… i can’t really go into that now but i’m sure there will be a lot more blogging.

for now… my head is above water.


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